Mixed Emotions

I woke up Tuesday morning, two hours before my plane to San Diego, balling my eyes out.

Last year when I backpacked Asia and Oceania, I had left Knoxville with a mixture of hate and revenge. It had fueled my traveling then, and by the time I came home, all that anger had practically vanished. And I realized on the plane ride to San Diego that this time, I'm not leaving a town full of people that I want to get away from...I'm leaving a town of people that I love and that love me back.

Monday night I invited close friends and family to dinner for a kind of going away party...and the turnout nearly brought me to my knees. So many people came to wish me farewell and good luck and it was the most beautiful night I've had in a long long time...which is why I was a wreck the next morning. How can I be so positive about my trip anymore if I'm leaving all these amazing people behind?

The reality of the trip I'm about to embark on really hit me Tuesday morning and the same mixed emotions have stuck with me on my plane rides. I can't even begin to describe the jumbled feelings swimming through me right now...

But this time, on this trip I'm forcing myself to shed my "comfort blanket" and keep traveling. I'm weak at the moment, but I know I'll get stronger as my trip continues.

*Takes a deep breath*

I can do this.

-Little Blonde Traveler